Achoo!

Adeh..kena selesema la pulak. Dah lama aku tak sakit, alih-alih hujung tahun ni pulak kena. Nasib baik tak kena ambik MC. Alah, dok kat rumah pun bukannya buat apa. Baik gi office. Kat office pun bukannya ada kerja sangat. Office ni pun tak ramai orang. Semua bercuti. Kalau aku dapat carry forward cuti tahun ni, maknanya tahun depan aku ada extra 5 hari cuti. Ada la harapan nak gi holiday. (Bali ke, Jakarta ke...hmmm) Tu pun kalau takde projek penting. Kalau tak, terpaksa la berkurung dalam lab...
Ubat ni buat aku high jer...Achoo!

A bouquet of flower

Category: My Post-It NotesAku dapat surprise yang memang tak disangka-sangka. (Inila yang dinamakan surprise, isk). Orang lelaki dapat bunga, mana tak terkejut. Samalah seperti kera mendapat bunga. Selepas kira-kira, ada 18 roses. Bawak balik rumah, tak tau nak buat apa. Langsung aku disassemble bouquet tu, nak tau macam mana florist tu susun. Lepas tu dah tak tau nak bagi cantik balik. Macam kera...Anyway, thank you to She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Muahs! Hehe. If you reading this, thank you to you. A bunch of thank you!

MAS The Flying Buffet

Category : Politics


MAS will soon be reporting 2nd quarter losses of RM260.0 million. The losses are actually close to RM300.0 million but MAS has been doing some creative accounting to make the Chairman Munir Majid look like he is doing his job. Certain 'write backs', 'overprovisions' etc are being used to make the red ink less.

Will this stop the rot at MAS ? Not likely. The company is in deep shit. The new incoming MD Idris Jala is supposed to arrive on Dec 1st - after the second qtr losses have been announced. That was the deal. But Munir is trying to delay announcing the 2 nd qtr losses and leave it to Idris Jala. This is not good feng shui for a new incoming MD - to start the day by announcing losses.

MAS is actually a flying buffet for the big guns. The company is owned by the Government. So it is not their own money. It is the Government's money. The big guns are ripping off MAS. The big guns are in just for the joyride. The Chairman Munir Majid - appointed sometime September last year - is ripping off MAS. Almost every weekend now Munir flies first class on MAS to London - for free of course. This is an abuse of his position as Chairman. He has a Mat Salleh wife in London who he is divorcing and maybe in the process of replacing so the free air rides to London come in handy.

Munir even has the dubious honour of making a day trip to London. He took the night flight from KLIA which arrives a.m. in London. Then he had a limousine with an English chauffeur pick him up in London airport and drive him to some condo. He kept the chauffeur waiting seven hours while he finished his 'business' in the condo. Then the chauffeur drove him back to the airport where Munir caught the evening flight back to KL. All this is paid using the taxpayers money. Anybody cares ?

MAS has its own company cars in London but obviously that is not good enough for Munir the top performing Chairman of the most successful airline company in Asia - now entering into its second quarter of multi hundred million Ringgit losses. Nothing less than a Rolls Royce or Bentley with orang putih chauffeur. After he became Chairman, Munir ordered office renovations totalling RM 841,000.00 for his office on the 34th floor of the MAS building in Jln
Sultan Islamil. This was at a time when MAS management already knew that MAS was going to report 1 st qtr losses of RM280.0 million in 2005.

Included in this RM841,000.00 renovation is kitchen equipment worth RM 33,515.00. Here are the details as per contractor's invoice :

1. KITCHEN EQUIPMENT :
Contractor : SI Corporation Sdn Bhd. 12 Jln Kenari 8, Bandar Puchong Jaya.
Batu 10, 47100 Puchong, Selangor DE. Tel : 8075 7788
INVOICE NO 6809
3 MARCH 2005. RM 33,515.00

2. INTERIOR RENOVATIONS :
Contractor : Design Practice Consultants 3A, 48 & 50, 4th Floor, Block A,
Kelana Centre Point,
No 3 Jln SS 7/19,
47301 Kelana Jaya,
Selangor Darul Ehsan.
Tel : 7803 4328
Cert of Progress Payment No 3 24th March 2005
Contract Sum RM 760,000.00
Cert of Payment No 02
4th April 2005
Contract Sum RM 48,000.00 --------------------- Total RM 841,515.00

Well once you renovate your office for RM841,000 certainly you need some art works to grace the office. So Munir spent RM1,557, 000.00 (yes that is RM1.6 Million of taxpayers money, alright) buying art works.

First here are the details :

ART SUPPLIER :
RUMAH SENI NUSANTARA SDN BHD 1st Floor, 17 Jln Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru,
59100 Kuala Lumpur.
Tel : 2284 2348
INVOICE FOR SOPHIA VARI / FERNANDO BOTERO 1st April 2005.

i. Sophia Vari (Coeur de L'Impenetrable ) RM 75,000.00
ii. Fernando Botero (Still Life With Violin) RM 1,140,000.00
iii. Fernando Botero (Still Life With Lobster) RM 342,000.00

---------------------- Total RM 1,557,000.00

Fernando Botero is a Colombian artist. All his paintings are a little gross because he 'blows up' or paints oversized depictions of his subjects especially humans. Here is an example :

Reproductions of his works can be bought for US25.00 (RM100.00) from barewalls.com - an Internet based art retailer. Surprisingly 'Still Life With Violin' is not listed anywhere in Botero's
collection. There is however a 'Still Life With Mandolin'. Have they got the name wrong ? Did they pay for the correct painting ? Here is a picture of 'Still Life With Mandolin'

One would assume that considering MAS' RM 540.0 million losses over two quarters, the new Chairman would at least try to balance his aesthetic tastes with a cheaper reproduction than buying the originals at over RM1.4 million. But MAS is a flying buffet. Everyone wants to feed off taxpayers money while the wool is still pulled over people's eyes. Not only the big guns but Senior Executives (AGM and above) have also been given an RM10.0 million car deal that will knock your socks off. Despite making such huge losses, MAS rewarded Senior Execs and implemented a scheme where it pays outright in cash for 75% of the purchase price of any car of
their choice for Senior Execs. And the remaining 25 % ? You guessed it. MAS gives a soft loan for the 25%. This is 100%.

And this is to reward Senior Execs for racking up losses of RM540.0 million for two consecutive quarters. Then MAS is also getting ripped off by poorly negotiated contracts especially with ticket agents. General Sales Agents hold monopoly franchises in certain countries to sell MAS tickets. But they often get unduly large discounts from MAS HQ in KL. Then because of these large discounts they are able to sell the tickets at two or three times mark up and make all the profit for themselves.

Why does MAS Sales give them such large discounts ? Some of the GSAs are also very friendly with MAS' Sales people. One of them has reputedly bought a condominium in KL for his buddy in MAS. Maybe this is one way of getting discounts. MAS is a flying buffet.

Then of course there is the famous food catering ripoff. Food is catered by Sky Chef, a company owned by the PM's brother. Needless to say, while MAS is making huge losses, Sky Chef is making good profits. Is this strange or is it not strange ? MAS has won some international award for Best Cabin Crew three years in a row. Someone has decided that MAS should also win the award for Best Airline Food !! So they launched 'Project Relish'. This is just another ripoff project. Lettuce from Cameron Highlands has been replaced with expensive, airflown lettuce from Australia. (No one stopped to think if Qantas has ever won Best Airline Food award serving Aussie lettuce)

Included in Project Relish is the redesign of their serving trays. Special design consultants have been engaged to redesign MAS serving trays. They would do better to ask their own air hostesses and stewards to design the plastic trays. But MAS is a flying buffet. Next we come to the 'con sultans' ripoff. Thus begins the story of Mazidah and Chris Andrews. Chris Andrews is a British consultant who was paid RM7,250 per day by MAS. Yes, this fellow was being paid more than the PM of Malaysia or more than the CEO of Sime, Maybank or anyone else.

In 5 days of work, Chris Andrews would earn from MAS RM36,250 which is about twice the annual salary of a graduate starting work in Malaysia. In slightly over one year, Chris Andrews has been paid over RM1.3 million in "con sultan" fees by MAS. These are the sultans of con. Who appointed Chris Andrews and what does he do ? Chris Andrews was pulled into MAS by one woman called Mazidah who is the head of Admin Support Services. For reasons that are becoming more clearer, she convinced MAS to hire Chris Andrews for RM7,250 per day to handle MAS' IT outsourcing.

What did Chris Andrews do ? He got MAS to outsource all their IT support to IBM. Since this outsourcing of IT support to IBM about 2 years ago, MAS' IT costs have spiralled about three fold. Here is how it happens. Now when a computer breaks down, MAS staffers can call a Help Desk. The Help Desk is manned by guess who ? Why IBM of course - the IT outsource ! IBM will then advise what to do - say call in a software guy (IBM of course), service the hardware (by IBM of course) or change hardware (by IBM of course).

The IT outsourcing to IBM is so complete that IBM also issues and signs the Purchase Orders on behalf of MAS to ITSELF for replacement parts ! ! As MAS' IT Outsource 'ConSultant' as well as being the major IT supplier to MAS, IBM is in the enviable position of being able to decide what and how much MAS should buy from itself. Ini bukan 'mesin niaga' tapi ini sudah jadi lagi satu kes 'melayu tak tahu niaga'. While MAS is making losses, no one has bothered to check how much money IBM is making this year from MAS ? When queried by the Board why IT costs have spiraled up, Mazidah convinced them that MAS was paying the cost of catching up with the latest IT technologies.

This is what Mazidah and her boyfriend Chris Andrews have been doing at MAS. Did I say 'boyfriend' ? Talk is other than slowing takeoffs at MAS, Chris Andrews and Mazidah have been 'taxiing down the runway' for a while. Mazidah who has three children, has separated from her husband to become Chris Andrews 'girlfriend'. After about two years of taxiing, she has either married Chris Andrews or is still in a take off mode.

Lately Chris Andrews has been given a permanent position at MAS. He is now Senior GM in charge of 'Strategy'. People are wondering how a RM7,250 a day IT consultant can become Head of Strategy Group ? Chris Andrews (Strategy) and Mazidah (Admin Support) are also the middle aged couple who sit in at MAS Management Committee meetings - this is the ruling elite in MAS - which is more influential than the MAS Board of Directors inhabited by clowns representing Khazanah, the MOF and other such outfits.

About two months ago, Chris Andrews (IT 'con sultan' turned Strategy Head) convinced MAS to raise their 1 st Class and Business Class fares by almost three times. From having the cheapest 1st Class Fares, MAS is now among the most expensive 1st Class airlines in the world. Understandably bookings have dropped with some flights having almost zero 1st Class passengers. More red ink for MAS. This company is not going to turn around soon. Chris and Mazidah are also savvy at PR. On Friday 25 th November 2005 they threw a lavish and exclusive welcome party for Idris Jala. Only the selected and the few from among the ruling elite in MAS were invited. Those outside the ruling elite were left out. But the party was held at company premises, using more of company funds.

Idris Jala is said to have asked the Govt's blessing to undertake a VSS scheme in MAS. This is a good move considering that the airline is overstaffed with over 23,000 employees when it only needs about 13,000 people to run. But paying off about 8,000 people is going to be expensive. But not to worry. The Second Minister of Finance has agreed to pour in more money for MAS. A sizeable soft loan from the Govt to MAS is in the works. Many experienced staff who have slogged faithfully in the rank and file in MAS for the past decades are getting fed up and just waiting for the VSS to make their exit.

This will leave MAS with even less experienced staff and more at the mercy of the 'con sultans'. Stay tuned for more MAS news.

Hope for Pasir Mas

Category : Politics

credit to :
Ajemi Ismail
16 December 2005
Taman Seri Mewah, Kajang.


I did not plan to go back to my hometown Pasir Mas this time around but it so happened that I had to visit my mother-in-law this weekend. My sister, brother and mother-in-laws were about to leave for Mekah to answer God’s call for pilgrimage. It is customary that whenever members of your extended family go for Hajj, you attend the doa selamat and then see them off at the airport. This one is no exception. Everybody who did not want to be disowned made his journey home, no matter how far. And thus all members of my wife’s family gathered at the family house in our village in Pasir Mas. The eight hour journey through the interior of Pahang was not a stroll in the park, but it gave me a rare opportunity to talk to my brother who acted as co-driver.

I have made journeys like this countless times ever since I started working and living in the west side of the Peninsula. I wished they had built a four-lane toll-free highway from Kajang to Pasir Mas so I could cut short the journey by half. I am still wishing.

Nothing is interesting about this trip except for the fact that this town had just received nationwide attention after a bitterly fought state seat by-election last week. The election was forced by the death of Pas rep for the seat of N12 Pengkalan Pasir. Until last week, this town had been under Pas control for the past 15 years. It was one of their remaining strongholds after the big swing to BN in the last general election. The town looked different from usual. Its usually dark streets are now flooded with tall spotlights with visible signboards reminding people of which party installed the damned things. Election posters for all parties were still hanging on trees, power cable poles and buildings. The usual dacing and bulan purnama fought for space at every corner. The independent candidate, ex-Umno stalwart Datuk Ibrahim Ali chose umbrella as the symbol of his side, perhaps mindful of the frequent rain that can happen here all of a sudden at this time of the year.

This by-election was crucial for both parties. For Pas it was about maintaining their razor thin majority. For BN it was about showing the people that the tide of change from the last general election was inevitable and irreversible. Eventually BN managed to wrest the seat from Pas who had ruled over the last 15 years, thanks to postal votes. The majority was thin but at least the efforts of their federal leaders, including PM, DPM and various ministers, with the help of all government machinery, money and the media did not come to naught. Pas blamed it all on Pos Malaysia and phantom voters while Ibrahim Ali disappeared together with all his umbrellas. Some say the new rep is not wakil rakyat but merely a wakil pos. Somebody told me Ibrahim Ali spent two million ringgit to split the BN vote. They took his money but apparently did not need his umbrella. Pas offered RM15,000 to catch pengundi hantu but I am quite sure BN can double that to set them free again! Either side, they had the opportunity to make money. Big money.

It is one of the ironies of democracy. In a community where party politics run in their blood, sometimes victory is decided by a minority group. In this case, the small Chinese community vote was vital as the split among the majority Malay voters was about the same. Perhaps feeling appreciated by their community leaders who took time to visit, the Chinese community votes went to the BN. This would not be surprising outside Kelantan, but in this state, politics can go against the norm. It is not unusual to see non-Muslim Chinese campaigning for Parti Islam in Kelantan.

In the heat of the election campaign, both sides promised to bring changes to this town. BN promised to tackle traffic, drainage system and lack of cleanliness problems. Pas said they would build a flyover to replace the existing level crossing across the railway tracks. Both sides promised to make good on their election promises. And they better do it, or else they will see the people’s wrath in future elections.

As somebody who was born and bred here, but earns a living in KL, I only hope for the better. I think the people of this town also share my views. The barber I visited did not seem to care who got the seat. He just wanted to make a decent living. With cheap goods crossing the Thai border at Rantau Panjang-Golok, he could still afford to charge me six ringgit less than my Kajang barber did. The petty trader I talked to was certain he would go to the kenduri to celebrate BN victory even though he was reluctant to say who he voted for.

Politics apart, whoever wins, I hope they will bring the much needed development to this town. It used to be Kelantan’s second biggest town in 1970s but has since been overtaken by other Kelantan other towns like Tanah Merah and Gua Musang. The town has not had a proper wet market ever since the Pasar Besar was razed down by fire in the mid-1980s. Instead its market is located in wooden buildings next to the town railway station. Perhaps due to lack of funds its cleanliness has had to take a back seat. When it rains, especially this monsoon season, the wet market really lives up to its name as shoppers hop from one stall to another trying hard to avoid the puddles. It is not very much different from Pasar Besar Kajang on a wet day!

After three days of visiting family and relatives, I had to drive back to Kajang. This time I did not have a co-driver. My brother had to go back to Shah Alam for work one day earlier than me. I had to do all the eight hours of driving on my own. Plenty of time for me to think and ponder as I went up and down the hills of southern Kelantan and Pahang. Plenty of time too to compare the development of the town of my birth with the rest of the Peninsula. Perhaps wishing for a four-lane toll free highway from Pasir Mas to Kajang is too wild a dream. But I’d like to see that some of the promises of the last by-election become a reality the next time I go back to my hometown. I hope they will make it worth my while going through the long drive.

PAS lost but Kelantan has triumphed

Category : Politics

BN should not be overly excited with the 134 votes
majority they got to win the Pengkalan Pasir state
by-election. Kelantan Umno chief must have thick skin
to claim such a razor-thin majority as a clear
indication that the Kelantan people has lost faith in
PAS governance. If we look at it a little closely, BN
may have won the battle, but everyone knows, it
actually lost the war.

Even before the day the by-election was announced, BN
machinery, especially Umno members from around the
country have ‘moved mountains’ to ensure they win the
seat. Despite the state being under PAS rule, the
playing field was never even. The TV channels and the
mainstream print media openly campaigned for the BN
candidate.

Plus the colossal federal government machineries and
the exchequer vault is wide open for Umno’s spending
spree. All the resources combined, BN was in an
overwhelmingly advantageous position as compared to
the clean, elfin and fragile PAS regime.

Every minister had something to give from their
ministries plus promises abound. Even exam results
were announced in the constituency for media coverage.
Building a university has been the standard carrot
these days. Every Umno post holders from the party,
Wanita, Pemuda and Puteri were there day and night
coaxing simple and unsuspecting village people for
their votes. There has never been an election where
the deputy prime minister himself, despite being booed
in most places he visited, stayed camped to motivate
BN election workers.

Despite reaping more benefits in the nine days of
campaigning than what their wakil rakyat would have
otherwise given them in 30 years, Pengkalan Pasir
people proved far smarter than the Umno people. For
the amount of effort and money BN put into the
constituency, getting a majority of less than one
percent is a stark shame..

For 134 votes, Kelantan people caught BN in a catch-22
situation. Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and Najib Abdul Razak
have to keep their promises for developments, for
university, for better infrastructure, for better
living conditions and they have about two years to
deliver. If BN keeps their promise, Kelantan people
might find they don’t need BN after all. If BN fails,
they lose Kelantan again.

They know the BN sandiwara all too well. The Puteri
chief was wearing a ‘tudung’! The Umno Youth were
painting the surau. The leaders were going around
inquiring the state of health of grandmothers. The MBs
were walking barefoot in flash floods. The people of
Pengkalan Pasir know, after this, these people will
never set foot on their soil again. And they also
know, at least PAS are the honest and sincere lot.
What you see is what you get. They don’t lie or make
false promises. They know the greater part of their
present-day suffering comes from BN sabotage of
development funds to the state.

The phantom voters that PAS feared of BN supposedly
did not work for them this time. But the postal votes
and the spoilt votes was enough to secure BN victory
when such a razor-thin situation arises. Despite being
against such odds, PAS getting almost 50 percent of
the votes is a great feat. Had this been a national
election, where BN resources had to be divided among
thousands of constituencies, BN could never have
beaten PAS. Luckily enough, PAS did not fall into BN
trap when they were challenged to dissolve the state
assembly. The BN could have swept the state away.

Given the above factors, if the voting is any
indication, in a situation of a national election when
it is called, BN has no chance to take the seat or the
state away from PAS. One can bluff the village once
but the Kelantan people will not buy the same
fairytale next time around. After all, what has
Abdullah to show in the economy? In religion? In
education? In good governance?

Malaysians know how corrupted Umno and the BN
administrations are. The rot in the police,
immigration, JPJ, local governments, in the finance
ministry, the APs, etc, are so very terrible. They
also know we have the weakest PM in history whose
brother spins his fortune from the misfortune of
Malaysia Airlines. What he makes from extra long
contracts with the Army is another feat by itself.

Malaysians already know the truth. Sermons don’t make
dreams come true. What is in hand is worth two in
promises. Kelantanese really know how to exploit
Barisan Nasional. Which ever way we look at it,
Kelantan won the Pengkalan Pasir by-election. They
just did.

Raining Day...

Category: My Post-It Notes
I feel like doing nothing today..Just sit, and enjoy the cloudy, rainy day

Emily the cat flies business class back home

Emily the cat looks through the
plane window before heading to
Wisconsin from Roissy airport,
north of Paris.

USAToday

PARIS (AP) — Emily the cat is heading home, in style.
Emily the cat looks through the plane window before heading to Wisconsin from Roissy airport, north of Paris. Emily the cat looks through the plane window before heading to Wisconsin from Roissy airport, north of Paris.
By Christophe Ena, AP

The wayward tabby from Wisconsin who disappeared two months ago and wound up traveling across the Atlantic to France boarded a Continental Airlines flight Thursday — in business class.

Travel conditions leaving Europe promised to be a bit more comfortable for Emily, who arrived as a stowaway in a cargo container after straying from home in Appleton, Wis.

"I don't think she'll drink champagne but I think she will be happy to rest," said Continental spokesman Philippe Fleury, at Charles de Gaulle airport to see Emily off. The airline offered to fly the cat home from Paris after her tale spread around the world and she cleared a one-month quarantine.

"This was such a marvelous story, that we wanted to add something to it," Fleury told AP Television News. A full-fare ticket for Emily's seat would normally cost about $6,000 and the airline provided a company escort for the cat.

Emily vanished from her home in late September. She apparently wandered into a nearby paper company's distribution center and crawled into a container of paper bales.

The container went by truck to Chicago and by ship to Belgium before the cat was found Oct. 24 at Raflatac, a laminating company in Nancy, France. Emily, who turned 1 year old that very day, was thin and thirsty but still alive.

Workers at Raflatac used her tags to phone her veterinarian in Wisconsin, and the vet called her owners.

Emily faced one last packed day of travel before her homecoming. She was due to arrive in Newark, N.J., later Thursday, board a connecting flight to Chicago, and then be driven home to Wisconsin, Fleury said.

Emily's escort, Newark-based Continental employee George Chiladze, said he was thrilled to be taking Emily back across the Atlantic.

"I will make somebody really happy to deliver this poor traveler back home," he said.

Feline takes long trip to France

emily & family
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

from Appleton's Post Crescent

APPLETON, Wis — Emily always has been an adventurous cat.

The Lesley and Donny McElhiney family got the cat last Christmas, and Emily has gone missing before, even ending up “jailed” once until the family bailed her out of the Fox Valley Humane Association.

So when she disappeared four weeks ago, the family began checking the humane association shelter every Monday, expecting the little tiger to show up.

It turns out they were looking a little too close to home. Emily showed up all right, but this time it seems she went to France. As in Nancy, France, about 175 miles east of Paris and not far from the French-German border.

As the crow flies, that's more than 4,200 miles, although Emily was shipped, not flown, across the Atlantic Ocean.

Employees at a French lamination company found her in a cargo container, checked her tags and called Emily's veterinarian at Tri-County Veterinarian Center in Kimberly. Emily's vet, John Palarski, called Monday to tell the McElhineys that Emily was safe, although a little thin and a little thirsty.

Oh, and she was in quarantine — in France.

"(She) probably had access to food and water," said Palarski. "I doubt if (she) went three weeks without it. There must have been a lot of mice on the boat.

"Even if (she) was in the cargo department, you would assume there was water down there. She had to have something."

The McElhineys are guessing that Emily ended up in the cargo container while she was prowling around a paper warehouse near their home on S. Fidelis Street near Kensington Drive.

From there, the container was shipped to the East Coast and across the ocean before it was unloaded in France and trucked to Nancy.

"She was probably hunting," Lesley McElhiney said. "She usually comes home. She's run before and we found her at the humane society."

This time Emily's return won't be so easy. The veterinarian has faxed Emily's vaccination records to France hoping to get her out of quarantine, but the McElhineys aren't quite sure how she will get home.

The friend of a co-worker is headed to Germany next week, and the family thinks that maybe the friend can bring Emily home. "The only thing we can think right now is buying a plane ticket," Lesley McElhiney said.

"She already cost us some the first time we got her from the humane society. She's getting to be an expensive little thing."

The children in the family ages 5 and 9, just want Emily home. The family has two other cats, 11-year-old Tori and 7-year-old Ringo. Tori “goes out but she doesn’t run away,” McElhiney said, and Ringo stays inside.

Emily, she said, is "an adventurer and she's a lover and she makes friends."

Palarski said Emily will need a health certificate from France to return home, and she'll have to go through quarantine again when she enters the United States.

And that's not the end of Emily's troubles. McElhiney said when the family gets Emily back, she'll be grounded.

Alasan Nikah

Ada banyak alasan manusia yang membuat dasar dari hakikat pernikahan,
hakikat yang seperti apakah yang paling membahagiakan? cuba kita
lihat...dan manakah pilihan kita???

- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana SEX, maka pasangan rajin bertengkar
jika servis di kamar tidur tidak memuaskan. Atau rajin hadir di SEX party.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana HARTA, maka pasangan bakal bubar
jika bangkrup.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana BEAUTY/BODY, pasangan bakal lari
jika rambut beruban dan muka keripot atau badan jadi gendut.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana ANAK, maka pasangan akan cari
alasan untuk pergi jika buah hati (anak) tidak hadir.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana KEPERIBADIAN, pasangan akan lari
jika orang berubah tingkah lakunya.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana CINTA, hati manusia itu tidak tetap
dan mudah terpikat pada hal-hal yang lebih baik, lagipula manusia yang
dicintai pasti MATI / PERGI.

- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana IBADAH kepada ALLAH, sesungguhnya
ALLAH itu KEKAL dan MAHA PEMBERI HIDUP kepada makhlukNYA. Dan ALLAH
mencintai hambaNYA melebihi seorang ibu mencintai bayinya. Maka tak ada
alasan apapun didunia yang dapat meretakkan rumah tangga kecuali jika
pasangan mendurhakai ALLAH.

Top 10 Dumb Things Bush Said in 2004

#10: "I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." -Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

#9: "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." -Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

#8: "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004

#7: "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." -Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004

#6: "We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental - supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." -Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004

#5: "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week - we will have an all-volunteer army!" -Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

#4: "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a - you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

#3: "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

#2: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

#1: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Terlewat Sebulan

Sepasang pengantin yang baru berkahwin 4 bulan. pada suatu malam si isteri memeluk leher suami dengan nada manja seraya berkata, Sayang, period i dah lewat sebulan, tapi i tak boleh nak pastikan lagi sebab kita kena gi check kat doktor.

Si suami yang teramat gembira tu pun berpakat dengan isterinya untuk tidak memberitahu sesiapa pun tentang perkhabaran gembira sehingga ianya benar - benar pasti.

Pada suatu hari, pasangan ini didatangi oleh pegawai dari TNB kerana terdapat tunggakkan dalam pembayaran bill elektrik rumah mereka.

Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata; ini rumah En.Mahpus ker?
Saya ni isterinya... ada apa encik?
Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata, Puan, ni dah sebulan lewat, saya tak boleh tunggu ni, nanti boss saya marah.

Dengan nada terkejut, si isteri itupun membalas balik cakap pegawai TNB tu.....

APA??? Macam mana pulak encik tahu yang saya ni sebulan lewat???
Pegawai TNB tu pun dengan selamba menjawab
“Ala puan, ni kan zaman IT, semua tu ada dalam komputer dan kita boleh check Online”.

Kata - kata pegawai TNB itu membuatkan si isteri tu lagi terkejut.

APAAA? Saya lewat sebulan pun awak semua boleh tahuuu???
Pegawai TNB tu pun mententeramkan keadaan, Relek puan, puan ni baru lewat sebulan, ada yang lagi teruk, lewat 5-6 bulan...

Si isteri yang terperanjat beruk dengan kenyataan pegawai tu pun berkata, nanti saya bincang dengan suami saya..lalu pegawai TNB tu pun beredar dari situ..;

Keesokkan harinya, selepas si Mahphus ini di beritahu oleh isterinya, dia pun naik berang dan terus ambik cuti dan pergi ke kedai TNB yang berdekatan..
Dengan tanpa menghiraukan pegawai-pegawai TNB yg ramai di situ, dia pun memekik seraya berkata

Apa korang ni, isteri saya sebulan lewat pun nak heboh heboh ke dalam internet. awak ni semua berkeluarga tak pernah lewat sebulan kerrrr?!!bisness apa korang buat niii?? nak kena saman kerr???
Lalu pegawai yang datang kerumah si Mahphus ni berdiri dan mententeramkan keadaan.
Sabar encik, sabar encik. apa susah, kalau nak settlekan perkara ni, bayar je laa..

Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuat kan si mahphus naik berang.
APAAA?? nak bayar korang? belahhhh lahh....
Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun cakap ; kalau macam tu...Kita terpaksa potong encik punya..........
Si Mahpus mencelah; apa??? potong??? abih tu isteri saya di rumah nak pakai apaaaaaa???

Pegawai TNB tu pun cakap ; nampak gayanye.....ISTERI ENCIK KENA PAKAI LILIN AJERRRLAAAAAAAA......?.....................

Sweet Couple

credit to Yahya Villareal Basman II. Heheh

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds
a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets
on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He
has Probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in
years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much
he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets
angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in
my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we
had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong
honey..... I love you, too

Selamat Hari Raya

Ayu the Fat Cat
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

I was hoping that I could celebrate Raya with my family for the first time since 2000. Didn't happen...uwaaa! Luckily, someone is with me. Although I own her, it's more like she's own me..Oh Ayu. Selamat Hari Raya to you..I'm gone nuts ( I think)

Should Petronas Subsidize Petrol?

by Datuk Mustapa Mohamed (Minister in the Prime Minister's Department)

IT would seem that whenever PETRONAS posts a profit, the public reacts with cynicism. This was indeed the case on June 30 when the corporation announced post-tax profits of RM35.5bil.

There are parties who believe that as a Government- owned company, it is inappropriate for PETRONAS to revel in its success, especially with rising fuel prices.

This sentiment is made worse by the perception that the billions of ringgit of profits made by the national petroleum corporation, was not the result of hard work, improved productivity or expert management, but merely the outcome of rising world crude oil prices.

When the Government made a decision on May 5 to reduce petroleum subsidies in stages, many urged the Government to make use of the corporation's profits to sustain the subsidies.

In reality, there are two issues that need to be understood. The first has to do with the role of PETRONAS, its management structure and its portfolio of business activities. The second relates to its links with the Government and how national finances are managed.

PETRONAS was formed specifically to protect and manage petroleum resources in a professional manner which would bring profits to the immediate generation and protect the nation's well being.

Our country is fortunate in that since PETRONAS' formation in 1974, it has been managed to the highest standards by dedicated and professional Malaysians.

From its humble beginnings as a local company, PETRONAS today is a multinational corporation with operations in more than 30 countries comprising upstream, downstream, refinery and marketing activities.

About 35% of PETRONAS' earnings now come from its international operations.

It's earnings form a substantial source of national income. Profits earned by PETRONAS are profits for the Government and all Malaysians.

For the financial year ended March 31, PETRONAS contributed RM31.2bil to the Government in the form of dividends, royalties, taxes and export duties. This amounts to more than half of its pre-tax profit of RM59bil.

On the whole, about 25% of the Federal Government's income is derived from PETRONAS, without which the Government would be denied a substantial source of income for national development projects.

The Federal Government administrative centre in Putrajaya, University Technology PETRONAS and the Kuala Lumpur City Centre have been made possible through the contributions by PETRONAS and its subsidiaries.

Since its formation, PETRONAS has contributed RM246bil to the Government. The impressive infrastructure and vibrant growth we now enjoy were partly funded through the profits earned by the corporation. How this money is spent is the Government's prerogative and has no relation to PETRONAS. However, the Government has decided that part of that money be spent on subsidies for petrol, diesel and cooking gas.

The remainder would go towards paying the salaries of civil servants and funding projects such as schools, hospitals, mosques and roads.

In 2004, the amount spent by the Government on subsidies and taxes forgone amounted to RM11.9bil. This figure is expected to soar to RM16.8bil should the retail price of petrol, diesel and LPG be maintained despite rising oil prices. At this increased sum, the subsidies would make up 60% of the national development budget.

It would seem logical that diverting PETRONAS' profits to national development projects would stand to benefit more of the people versus spending it on fuel subsidies which, arguably, only benefits those who are better off.

In addition to direct contributions to the Government, PETRONAS also subsidises natural gas used by the energy sector with contributions of RM6bil for the financial year ending March 31.

Regulated pricing for energy was introduced in 1997, when the gas price was set at RM6.40 per mbtu (Million British Thermal Unit). Despite higher international prices, this price has been maintained through subsidies from PETRONAS, amounting to RM25bil to date.

It is because of this that domestic electricity rates have been maintained at reasonable levels.

There are still those who argue that PETRONAS should return more of its yearly profits to the Government, and the money be used to increase fuel subsidies.

This argument does not take into consideration the need to preserve and manage our natural resources which PETRONAS does by reinvesting its profits in exploration, and advances in research and development.

Without the discovery of new oil wells, our national reserves will be exhausted in 19 years, while gas reserves will only last another 33 years.

Such a change in fortunes has already been seen in Indonesia, a once major member of Opec. There is perhaps another source of confusion with regard to Malaysia's position as a net exporter of oil.

Questions are often asked why Malaysia needs to import oil if we produce and export it.

There are two types of crude oil found in the world – light crude and heavy crude.

Malaysia produces light crude, while heavy crude are found in West Asia.

At this time, Malaysia houses five refineries with a combined capacity of 547,000 barrels of oil per day (bpd). Of these, PETRONAS owns three with a combined capacity of 256,000 bpd, or 47% of the total national output.

The rest are owned by Shell (155,000 bpd), Exxonmobil (88,000 bpd) and ConocoPhillips (48,000 bpd).

Malaysia consumes 520,000 bpd. To meet this demand we need to rely on refineries belonging to international oil companies, too. Not all our petroleum product needs can be met by the five refineries.

The oil produced in Malaysia is not solely controlled by PETRONAS but is shared with companies like Shell and Exxon-Mobil, based on shared production agreements. PETRONAS and the Government are not in a position to dictate how all our oil resources are deployed.

Like PETRONAS, these companies, too, have invested heavily to build, maintain and upgrade their refineries in order to meet domestic demand. They require viable returns in order to continue operations in Malaysia.

It is clear that the notion for Malaysian oil to be refined and sold cheaply for domestic consumption is both technically unfeasible and economically unproductive.

PETRONAS was not set up to be a cash cow for a select few but for the benefit of all.

Antara Konsert dan Forum Perdana

Oleh Luchman, Salmah Mat Hussain & Rizal Tahir

LEBIH 40,000 orang menyaksikan konsert Tautan Kasih
yang dianjurkan oleh kerajaan negeri dengan
menampilkan juara Akademi Fantasi 3, Mawi pada 30
September lalu.

Bilangan pengunjung yang ramai itu menyebabkan pihak
penganjur terpaksa menyediakkan skrin besar di
beberapa penjuru berdekatan Padang Perdana. Tiada
siapa yang merunggut, biar pun ramai terpaksa bersila
di atas jalan dan padang menyaksikan persembahan yang
julung-julung kali diadakan di Kelantan.

Sebaliknya pada malam yang sama Umno Kelantan
menganjurkan Forum Perdana di Ketereh dengan
menampilkan penceramah-penceramah, yang dikatakan
antara percubaan menyekat orang ramai hadir ke konsert
alternatif.

Itulah dua peristiwa berlaku pada malam 30 September
lalu, yang dianggap pemerhati politik, persaingan
untuk mempamerkan kekuatan di antara Umno dan PAS di
Kelantan. Siapa sebenar pandai memikat?

Menteri Besar, Tuan Guru Dato’ Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat
dalam kenyataan terbukanya berhubung penganjuran
konsert itu berkata, program terbabit diadakan
sebahagian daripada agenda pengisytiharan Kota Bharu
Bandar Raya Islam.

Bagaimanapun hasrat murni tersebut cuba dipertikai
Umno khususnya Pengerusi Badan Perhubungan Umno
Kelantan, Dato’ Annuar Musa yang menganggap sebagai
gimit politik dan retorik PAS semata-mata.

Adun Kok Lana situ dilaporkan berkata, keputusan
penganjuran konsert menampakkan PAS Kelantan telah
menghalalkan cara, walaupun pada prinsipnya parti itu
menolak hiburan yang melalaikan.

Bagaimanapun mereka yang hadir menyaksikan persembahan
berkenaan boleh merungkai sendiri isu yang dibangkit
Ketua Pembangkang di DUN Kelantan. Pada persidangan
DUN semalam, wakil rakyat itu mendedahkan sebanyak
RM700,000 diperuntukan bagi menjayakan konsert
tersebut.

Menjawab persoalan itu, anggota Exco, Takiyuddin
Hassan berkata, jumlah sebenar yang dibelanjakan masih
di peringkat audit pihak terbabit. “Bagaimanapun
jumlah RM2 juta yang diperuntukan kerajaan negeri
termasuk lebih 20 program yang disusun khas menjelang
pengisytiharan Bandar Raya Islam sebulan lalu.

“Sedangkan kita dimaklumkan semasa pelancaran Bulan
Kemerdekaan di Dangga Bay, Johor Bahru lebih RM2 juta
diperuntukan hanya bagi satu program sahaja,” ujarnya
pada persidangan DUN hari ini.

Menteri Besar sebelum ini menyimpulkan apabila
seseorang itu tidak minat kepada Islam, sudah tentu
dia akan memandang serong setiap apa yang dilakukan di
Kelantan.

Persaingan melebarkan pengaruh dengan penganjuran
konsert alternatif dan forum perdana memperlihatkan
kecerdikan sebenar seorang pemimpin. Di program forum
perdana dikatakan kira-kira 3,000 hadir. Itu pun
sebahagian besar pelajar-pelajar sekolah yang diangkut
dengan bas.

Manakala guru-guru sekolah lebih awal lagi menerima
surat dipaksa hadir. Kedatangan mereka mesti
ditandatangani di majlis forum. Biar pun konsert
Tautan Kasih difokus kepada hiburan, namun kuliah
agama dan peringatan tentang akhirat tidak dilupakan.

Ini dibuktikan dengan pendapat ramai golongan belia
dan remaja yang ditemui. Mereka melahirkan rasa puas
hati terhadap konsert alternatif dan program
pengisytiharan Kota Bahru Bandar Raya Islam, baru-baru
ini.

Wan Norasikin Wan Kamrudin, 18 dari Pengkalan Chepa
berkata, “Saya duduk di hotel selama dua hari dengan
keluarga kerana nak tengok dua konsert yang diadakan
oleh kerajaan negeri,” katanya.

Beliau melahirkan gembira dengan perjalanan konsert
program dua hari itu. Kalau boleh diadakan lagi,
pintanya. Remaja itu juga cukup setuju dengan
pengasingan tempat duduk antara lelaki dan perempuan.
“Macam inilah bagus, tak perlu nak himpit-himpit,
nanti ada orang ambil kesempatan” katanya.

Hisyam Mohamaad, 28 tidak menafikan kedatangan Mawi ke
Kelantan pada dua program tersebut amat bermakna
sekali, lebih-lebih lagi orang ramai yang hadir
mengikut garis panduan ditetapkan kerajaan negeri.

“Mungkin sekiranya Mawi sudah wujud sejak awal
pentadbiran kerajaan negeri, mungkin konsert seperti
itu sudah lama diadakan,” katanya. Namun beliau
berharap konsert seumpama itu diadakan di tempat yang
lebih luas pada masa akan datang.

“Orang terlalu ramai, bersesak-sesak kalau tempat yang
lebih luas selesa sedikit” pintanya. Seorang peniaga,
Munirdin Hashim, 33 menjelaskan konsert alternative
yang dijayakan di sini boleh dicontohi negeri-negeri.
Program itu bermula dengan sembahyang.

Anggota Dewan Negara, Senator Siti Zailah Mohd Yusof,
ketika reaksinya menyifatkan konsert alternatif
sebagai percubaan berani kerajaan negeri dan ia patut
dicontohi negeri-negeri lain.

Pengasingan tempat duduk dan dimulakan program dengan
sembahyang berjemaah sewajarnya diambil panduan.
“Kalau konsert di tempat lain sudah tentu berlaku
percampuran antara lelaki dan perempuan secara bebas.
Alhamdulillah Kelantan telah membuktikannya bahawa
konsert sebenarnya boleh diadakan dalam suasana tenang
dan beradab,” ujarnya.

Ketua Nisa’ Pusat, Mastura Mohamad turut mengucapkan
tahniah pada Kerajaan Kelantan di atas kejayaannya
menganjurkan dua program besar yang mendapat sambutan
hangat.

Katanya, Kelantan telah berjaya melepasi tahap
percubaannya dengan cukup berjaya apabila dua program
yang dihadiri artis paling popular dewasa ini, Asmawi
Ani dan M. Nasir mendapat sambutan di luar jangkaan.

“Bukan itu sahaja ianya berada dalam suasana yang
cukup aman, tenang dan selesa biar pun kehadiran orang
ramai begitu ramai sekali,” ujarnya.

Borang dan isinya

oleh Hishamuddin Rais

Saya adalah manusia yang paling segan untuk mengisi borang. Atau lebih
tepat lagi saya malas mengisi borang. Saya tidak tahu dari mana perangai malas
mengisi borang ini muncul. Seingat saya dari zaman bersekolah rendah lagi
saya cukup tidak suka mengisi borang. Saya tidak tahu apakah ada lagi
orang-orang lain dalam dunia ini yang semalas saya dalam hal mengisi
borang.

Kerana perangai malas hendak mengisi borang ini maka saya tidak pernah cuba
memasuki apa-apa jenis pertandingan. Saya tidak pernah memohon apa-apa
projek. Tidak pernah ingin melamar kerja. Kerana selalunya dalam
pertandingan, minta projek atau melamar kerja kita diwajibkan mengisi
borang yang berjela-jela. Apa tujuan mengumpul data ini tidak pula saya ketahui.
Nama, tarikh lahir, tempat kelahiran, nama ibu, nama ayah, tinggi, jantina,
warna rambut dan pelbagai macam maklumat yang dikhendaki diisi ke dalam
borang.

Kali terakhir saya mengisi borang dengan agak serius ialah semasa saya
mendaftar diri untuk masuk ke Universiti Malaya. Macam-macam yang
dikehendaki - bukan sahaja keputusan Higher School Certificate, tarikh saya
bersunat pun dikhendaki sama. Semenjak dari itu saya berjanji saya tidak
akan ambil 'pot' lagi dalam hal ehwal mengisi borang ini.

Semasa saya tinggal di Belgium dan berulang alik ke London saya cukup bosan
mengisi borang kad - Embarkation dan Disembarkation - semasa melintasi
pelabuhan Dover atau Ostend. Nama, jantina, alamat, tarikah lahir daan
warga negara - semua perlu diisi ke dalam borang visa. Satu ketika kerana terlalu
bosan mengisi borang yang telah berpuluh-puluh kali diisi, lalu saya
menulis - Not enough of it - diruang SEX dalam borang visa ini. Pegawai imigrisen
British di Dover tidak melihat ini sebagai lawak. Tetapi ini berlaku
ditahun 80an bukan di era Osama. Kalau sekarang saya lakukan mungkin saya akan
ditendang keluar atau ditahan sebagai penjenayah seks.
Pegawai imigrisen itu dengan serius menyuruh saya mengisi satu lagi borang
yang baru.

Mari kita fikirkan - apakah betul-betul ada gunanya borang-borang yang
telah diisi ini. Rasa saya ini kerja yang sia-sia. Jika orang Indon ingin masuk
ke Malaysia secara haram pasti ada cara lain. Tidak ada borang yang akan dapat
menahan kesampaian mereka. Atau jika seorang Amoi dari Xian, China yang
telah dijual sebagai pelacur di Bukit Bintang, tidak mungkin Minah ini akan
dapat diselamatkan melalui borang yang telah diisinya di KLIA.

Tiga tahun dahulu Japan Foundation telah menjemput saya untuk melamar
menjadi felo di sebuah universiti di Tokyo. Sebenarnya saya tertarik juga
untuk bertandang ke Tokyo tetapi apabila saya melihat borang yang wajib
diisi hati saya menjadi tawar. Selain dari tarikh lahir dan jantina, saya
juga perlu membutirkan tulisan-tulisan, diploma dan ijazah yang saya
miliki. Tahun berapa, universiti mana dan pangkat berapa.
Kerana malas mengisi borang lalu saya tuliskan - sila google Hishamuddin
Rais - semuanya data tersimpan lengkap. Japan Foundation ini pun tidak ada
sense of humour - old school. Hasilnya, saya tidak mendapat biasiswa
tersebut.

Kerana pengalaman ini saya terfikir untuk membuat satu CD tentang biodata
saya. Apabila diminta mengisi borang maka saya akan serahkan CD ini tanpa
perlu mengisi borang. Rasa saya cara ini lebih selamat dan tidak membuang
masa.

Ketika saya ditahan di Kamunting dahulu adalah zaman yang paling banyak
saya mengisi borang. Borang pertama di Balai Polis Sentul, borang kedua di
tempat tahanan sulit - kemudian saya terus-menerus mengisi borang tidak
berhenti-henti. Pindah ke bilik yang lain saya wajib mengisi borang baru.
Pindah ke penjara yang baru satu lagi borang wajib diisi.
Banyangkan berapa banyak pokok yang telah tumbang untuk dijadikan kertas
agar saya dapat mengisi borang.

Apa jadinya dengan semua borang-borang yang telah diisi ini? Berapa tahun
agaknya borang ini akan disimpan. Saya akui jika borang ini di United
Kingdom atau di Australia mungkin ianya akan tersimpan lama. Ini terbukti
kerana keputusan peperiksaan Tony Blair semasa dia dalam darjah lima pun
masih ada dalam simpanan sekolah lamanya. Ini budaya barat yang bersalut
dengan sejarah. Tetapi di Malaysia - negara yang tidak memiliki nilai
sejarah - rasa saya dalam dua tiga bulan borang- borang ini akan hilang
lesap.

Tidak percaya? Buktinya - saya telah mendengar banyak cerita tentang borang
hilang. Borang ini hilang bukan kerana telah lama disimpan.
Borang yang baru dihantar pun boleh lesap entah ke mana. Tanyalah
sahabat-handai dan kenalan kita, pasti mereka akan becerita tentang kes-kes
borang hilang setelah dihantar ke pejabat. Bila saya mendengar kesah borang
hilang saya merasa cukup kasihan kepada si Mamat yang terpaksa bersusah
payah mengulang mengisi borang sekali lagi.

Kadang-kadang borang ini perlu dilengkapkan dengan satu gambar kecil.
Nah bayangkan siapa agaknya yang akan melihat gambar ini. Mengisi borang
dengan gambar ini sering dijadikan syarat apabila melamar kerja. Borang
melamar kerja ini untuk saya lebih teruk dari mengisi borang di Abu Gharib.
Keputusan dari darjah satu, SPR, LCE, SPM, hingga ke tahun akhir di
universiti semuanya perlu ditulis kembali. Kemudian isikan pula sukan apa
yang dicampuri, persatuan apa, hobi apa dan seribu satu soalan yang wajib
diisi. Hanya data tentang warna seluar dalam sahaja yang tidak diminta.

Mari kita menjadi manusia jujur - berapa ramaikah si Mamat yang mendapat
kerja kerana cekap mengisi borang. Bukankah calon-calon ini akan juga
dipanggil untuk ditemubual jadi apa perlunya gambar dan fakta-fakta remeh
ini. Kenapa kita - orang dewasa - suka menyeksa anak-anak muda ini walhal
kita sendiri tahu peluang mendapat perkerjaan lebih cerah bukan bukan
melalui mengisi borang tetapi hasil dari temubual. Ramai juga mendapat
peluang kerja bukan kerana borang tetapi kerana jaringan-jaringan pribadi.

Minggu lepas saya diwajibkan mengisi borang. Saya tidak banyak pilihan
kerana saya diwajibkan membuka akaun di bank. Saya belum memiliki akaun
bank kerana - pertama saya malas hendak mengisi borang. Kedua - saya tidak
memerlukan bank akaun kerana saya tidak memiliki duit untuk disimpan.
Lainlah kesnya jika saya telah mendapat permit AP, pasti saya akan bergegas
ke bank untuk mengisi semua borang yang perlu diisi. Bank akaun ini dibuka
bukan kerana saya memiliki duit tetapi untuk membuktikan bahawa saya adalah
rakyat Malaysia kerana memiliki bank akaun. Ini salah satu tanda yang saya
'patriotik' terutama dalam bulan Ogos ini.

Sebenarnya, saya merasa terseksa semasa mengisi borang bank ini. Saya perlu
mengisi pelbagai butir diri termasuk agama saya. Saya hairan apa perlunya
diketahui agama pelanggan dengan akaun bank ini. Apakah jika telah
diketahui jenis agama saya maka bererti duit yang saya masukkan ke bank ini semuanya
duit halal dan bukan duit rasuah? Apa akan terjadi jika saya mengatakan
bahawa saya pengikut Ayah Pin atau belum memiliki agama? Semua ini adalah
soalan-soalan cepu emas yang masih belum terjawab.

Memang banyak betul ruang yang perlu saya isi. Nasib saya agak baik kerana
saya telah dibantu oleh seorang pegawai bank yang baik hati setelah melihat
saya terkia-kial dengan pen. Kalau tidak, mungkin saya perlu bermalam di
bank ini kerana tidak kecukupan masa untuk mengisi sebuah borang.

Tempat akhir yang wajib saya isi ialah ruang - Apa Nama Yang Ingin
Dipanggil. Di ruang ini ada tertera - Tuan, Encik, Puan, Datuk, Datin, Tan
Sri, Datuk Seri, Datuk Paduka, Tun dan seribu satu jenis pangkat yang wujud
di Malaysia. Bila terlihat ruang ini, dengan cepat saya tersenyum dan
berfikir inilah peluang saya untuk menjadi Datuk Seri.
Lalu saya menandakan Datuk Seri untuk tambahan panggilan nama saya.
Apabila bank ini menghantar surat kepada saya nanti maka bank ini akan
menulis Datuk Seri dipermulaan nama saya.

Ha ha ha, baru sekarang saya sedar bahawa di Malaysia ini bukan sahaja
Sultan dan Agung yang memberikan darjah kebesaran - bank pun boleh
memberikan kita pangkat Datuk atau Datuk Seri. Sekarang semuanya jelas
kenapa di negara kita ini terlalu ramai Datuk, Datin, Tan Sri dan Tun.
Ini kerana ramai pelanggan bank ini yang telah diberi darjah kebesaran.
Saya juga merasa begitu bangga kerana saya kini bertaraf Datuk Seri.
Inilah kali pertama saya merasa berbaloi mengisi borang. Saya telah menjadi
Datuk Seri sekarang dan saya masih lagi menunggu surat pertama dari bank
ini.

Life's Like That...

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake m e at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

A Memory: White Lake Field Trip

Honnie and Gary
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

It was the best field trip ever with nice professor, a cool TA, and crazy friends!

We went to a remote place somewhere in Ontario, Canada for a week to study its geology over the areas. The place was on the East of Sault St Marie..I think. It was late April of 2004, yet the place we went was still cold and snowy.

The first day was started with a rainy day, a perfect time to go hiking and doing some mapping :P The rocks were so damn slippery (read: they're already covered with moss) Our map was already wet 10 minutes after we started. There was no point writing on it, it was completely torn away. So we just followed our instructor trying to understand like a million rock formations on the areas. Some are still in my head; maybe I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life. Missisagi and Bar River Formation. Lol!

For the next 4 days, we started our days at 7am and finished around 5pm. Some groups that were lost had to spent their night on the field..Just kidding! They came back of course. We only supplied with topo maps, aerial photos, ruler, and our trusted Brunton compass. Isn’t it cool? No it’s not. I think it’s crazy. We spent 8 hours during the day, everyday, hiking and making traverse and spent the night transferring all the strikes and dips onto a blank map.

I think everyone broke tears (really!) and sweat doing this kind of work. Some experienced pretty nice blisters, some fell into a chest deep swamp and some were lost for more than 2 hours on the mountains! In the end, we really learned to work in groups and experienced a true life of geologists

Thank you Gary and Honnie. They such a great host!

Erotic images can turn you blind

Researchers have finally found evidence for what good Catholic boys have known all along – erotic images make you go blind. The effect is temporary and lasts just a moment, but the research has added to road-safety campaigners’ calls to ban sexy billboard-advertising near busy roads, in the hope of preventing accidents.

The new study by US psychologists found that people shown erotic or gory images frequently fail to process images they see immediately afterwards. And the researchers say some personality types appear to be affected more than others by the phenomenon, known as “emotion-induced blindness”.

David Zald, from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, and Marvin Chun and colleagues from Yale University in Connecticut, showed hundreds of images to volunteers and asked them to pick a specific image from the rapid sequence. Most of the images were landscape or architectural scenes, but the psychologists included a few emotionally charged images, portraying violent or sexually provocative scenes.

The closer these emotionally charged images occurred prior to the target image, the more frequently people failed to spot the target image, the researchers found.

“We observed that people failed to detect visual images that appeared one-fifth of a second after emotional images, whereas they can detect those images with little problem after neutral images,” Zald says.
Primitive brain

“We think there is essentially a bottleneck for information processing and if a certain type of stimulus captures attention, it can jam up the bottleneck so subsequent information can’t get through,” Zald explains. “It appears to happen involuntarily. The stimulus captures attention and once allocated to that particular stimulus, no other stimuli can get through” for several tenths of a second.

He believes that a primitive part of the brain, known as the amygdala, may play a part. That region is involved in evaluating sensory input according to its emotional relevance and has an autonomic role, influencing heart rate and sweating.

“It is possible that emotionally-charged stimuli produce preferential rapid routing of the impulse that bypasses the slower cortical route via the amygdala," Zald told New Scientist. "Patients with amygdala lesions pick out the target image without reacting to violent images, although they show normal blindness reactions when sexual images are introduced, which suggests another mechanism may also be involved.”
Harm avoiders

The researchers think emotion-induced blindness could lead to drivers simply not seeing another car or pedestrian if they have just witnessed an emotionally charged scene, such as an accident or sexually explicit billboard.

The effect could exacerbate the more obvious problem of drivers simply being distracted by large, arresting images. "It's the responsibility of drivers to ensure that when they are behind the wheel they keep their eyes on the job in hand," says a spokeswoman from Brake, a UK road safety organisation.

And some people are more vulnerable than others. The study assessed participants using a personality questionnaire, rating them according to their level of “harm avoidance”. Those scoring highly were more fearful, careful and cautious; those scoring low were more carefree and more comfortable in difficult or dangerous situations.

The researchers found that those with low harm avoidance scores were better able to stay focused on a target image than those with high harm avoidance scores.

“People who are more harm avoidant may not be detecting negative stimuli more than other people, but they have a greater difficulty suppressing that information,” Zald suggests.

The Brake spokeswoman says companies should think about the consequences of placing emotionally charged billboards at dangerous road junctions: “We should be concerned if drivers are experiencing split-second breaks in concentration, which could result in an accident or death on the roads.”

Journal reference: Psychonomic Bulletin and Review (August 2005 issue)

Court rules in favor of fat man in a Merc

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German court has ruled that Mercedes must release a man from a car lease deal after a dispute over whether he was too heavy to drive the luxury vehicle, Bild newspaper reported Tuesday.

Mercedes refused to release the insurance salesman from a lease agreement on his S-320 CDI model, arguing the multiple car breakdowns caused by his weight were insufficient grounds to break the deal.

But the Stuttgart court ruled in favor of the salesman, named only as Frank S., apparently on the grounds that the car should have been able to take his weight.

Frank S. was told that at 160 kg (352 pounds) he weighed twice as much as the average driver, Bild said.

"They told me that I was too fat for the car because the seat was broken," he told Bild, in a story next to a picture of the east German squeezing behind the steering wheel of the model Bild said was worth 65,000 euros.

"I could hardly fit behind the steering wheel ... Then I had to take the car back to the shop for repairs 13 times for 21 different malfunctions in the first 20,000 km."

The 37-year-old said he got fed up and wanted to return the car but Mercedes refused to release him from his lease contract.

A court in Stuttgart ruled that DaimlerChrysler had to let him out of the agreement.

The salesman, who switched to a Volkswagen, would sue to get back the leasing payments he made, Bild said.

Wrong Email

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided
to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail
address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages
from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into
the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which
read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 1 June 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and
you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW ......

Yours loving,
Hubby

No Criminal Charge for Stupidity

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm Monday ended up setting fire to their own car. Police said the trio had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle. When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter. One click, a boom and the car burst into flames. "It wasn't a major whodunnit," senior sergeant Ross Gilbert told Reuters, from the small North Island town of Waipukurau, about 140 miles northeast of Wellington. "Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity." The men, aged 18 to 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.

Toyota Vios Showroom

Toyota Vios


Rear view of Vios


A decent conventional dashboard


Located in the middle of the car, NOT on the driver side


There you go...


VVTi engine


This glovebox looks fragile to me


Open sesame!


Driver side


Automatic transmission

Is it Perodua MyVi or YourVi?

glittering silver 1.0 (no foglights)


comes with an extra large bumper, suitable for Malaysian drivers who always in traffic jams


Cool headlights and foglights.


This one i like


spare tire comes handy...


MyVi 1.3 engine


AT only comes on 1.3 models


it supposed to be a classy silver, eh?


50-cent sized eject button, and you don't have to guess where is 'mute' button no more! Why is it so ugly?


MyVi dashboard


orange backlights for 1.0, white backlights for 1.3

Wedding Lan & Ilham

Lan & Ilham
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

Congratulations to Lan and Ilham! They are safely married on February 3, 2005. For Lan, jaga Ilham elok elok. No more accident alright bro, heheh. For Ilham, jaga Lan elok elok jugak. All the best!

Nukilan Untuk Kekasihku

love
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

Dalam kesuraman ultra lembayung tika bulan menumpahkan cahaya…. tiba-tiba aku terkenangkan nostalgia cinta lama yang kita palitkan berdua.

Kehadiranmu bersama molekul-molekul hidrogen menerjang segala kekusutan yang membelit tali perutku. Dan kehadiranmu itu mengajar aku erti rindu, gelora dan syahdu.Kau juga mengajarku erti cinta,singa laut,penquin,beruang kutub,kambing salji,sikat,tali kasut, mee rebus,kotak pensil, cendol, koridor, pasu bunga dan coklat kit-kat.Kala itu kita bagaikan Nobita dan Sizuka.Kau dan aku umpama Rose dan Jack Dawson yang tidak dapat dipisahkan.

Malangnya percintaan yang mendapat liputan meluashingga ke bintang Kejora itu telah mengundang perpisahan yang akhirnya telah mengecewakan seluruh penternak lipan di Burma.Dikau pergi jua ketika Kuala Lumpur sedang bersiap sedia menjadi tuan rumah Sukan Koman'sewel' 1998. Sesungguhnya perpisahan itu berpunca daripada penebangan pokok getah secara besar-besaran di Lembah Klang.Pemergianmu menyebabkan aku menghidap penyakit bronkitis dan hepatitis-q secara mengejut.

Ketiadaanmu memaksa aku memakai topi keledar setiap masa sebagai langkah keselamatan.Aku seperti tidak percaya dengan apa yang telah terjadi.Aku bagaikan tergelincir dari orbit bumi dan terpelanting ke ruang angkasa, apabila daya tarikan graviti terhadapku tiada lagi berfungsi setelah aku tersungkur dalam percintaan yang berlarutan sehingga ke rubber-set. Seluruh perjalanan hidupku menjadi gelita bagaikan terperangkap di dalam gua yang gelap dan ditemani stlagtit dan stlagmit yang bagai sembilu. Kondominium cinta yang kita bina dari makgat basikal dan kayu kaki katil akhirnya musnah setelah kau berpaling tadah. Ternyata sikapmu mulai berubah bila Malaysia mula melancarkan satelit MEASAT-1 ke ruang angkasa raya.Sejak itu kau sering melarikan diri bila terserempak dengan bakal adik iparku punya kakak. Akhirnya aku menyedari bahawa diri ini tidak diperlukan lagi.

Sejak kau tiada,aku sering menyendiri berbual-bual dengan pokok betik untuk mengisi masa lapang.Kadang-kadang aku mengikat botol oren pada tiang rumah agar nampak lebih cantik.Saban hari aku termenung di dalam peti sejuk mengenangkan dirimu yang entah kemana menghilang.Aku cuba menyelam sambil makan mi hailam untuk melupakanmu,tetapi aku tak berdaya.Lalu aku membakar mesin basuh dan membelasah itik jiran sebelah sebagai tanda aku kasih dan sayang pada dikau..

Oh Mengapa? Mengapa sayang?Mengapa semua ini bisa terjadi?Mengapa setelah kau curi hatiku,kau rompak cintaku lalu lantas kau bunuh cintaku sehingga aku terbunuh dalam kemalangan cinta yang ngeri.Dan kini segala harapanku hancur berkecai bagaikan aku terjatuh dari Menara Kuala Lumpur dan dihempap oleh Menara Berkembar Petronas lalu tersangkut di celah landasan LRT dan kemudiannya digilis pula keretapi komuter hingga aku berkecai.Oh.!Terlalu berat dugaan yang ku tempuhi kini.

Kini segalanya telah pun berakhir.aku sedar siapa aku.Aku hanya insan biasa yang suka makan mi segera.Aku bukan Mcgyver,Mcdonalds,Superman atau Kesatria Baja Hitam. Aku juga bukanlah Ultraman seperti yang kau idam-idamkan.Aku menyedari kekurangan diri dan kekurangan kemudahan awam di tempat sendiri.Tak perlu dikesali lagi kerana nasi telah menjadi capati dan tin sardin yang kugenggam ini telah pun luput tarikhnya.Segalanya sungguh mengharukan dan semua hadiah pemberianmu termasuk enjin kapal selam telah pun aku cincang untuk dibuat makanan ikan.Walaupun segalanya telah berakhir,di sini,di atas pokok getah ini aku tetap menunggu kau akan kembali.Selagi ada nafas ini,selagi ada kompleks membeli-belah Starhill,selagi ada kedai kasut di Argentina,selagi kumpulan Innuendo tak berpecah,aku tetap menunggumu sehinggalah mentari terbelah lapan.Namun aku menyedari bahawa penantianku hanyalan sia-sia belaka.Akhirnya aku mengambil keputusan muktamad untuk menunggu tiang elektrik di hadapan rumahku berbuah.Kalau tiang elektrik berbuah nanti,aku poskan buah-buahannya kepadamu..nak tak?

How To Tell

flirt
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

Betul ke?

HOW TO TELL IF A GUY LIKES A GIRL

1. The guy will try to make you laugh.
2. He'll flirt with you when he can.
3. He might try to show off around you.
4. He'll help you out, if you ask for it.
5. He'll stick up for you when you need it most.
6. He'll be friendly to you and all your friends.
7. He might call you for no good reason.
8. He might make fun of you, in a joking way.
9. He'll tell you that you did good, even if you did horrible.
10. He'll make eye contact with a happy grin on his face


HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES A GUY
1. The girl will laugh at all your jokes.
2. She'll stare at you with a smile on her face.
3. She'll ask you who you like, continuously.
4. She might try to make you jealous.
5. She'll beg that you do everything for her.
6. She might start talking to your friends.
7. She'll talk to you about the different varieties of guys.
8. She'll always seem to be talking about how nice you are.
9. She'll always be flirting with every other guy except you.
10. She'll always ask what to do in a bad situation.

Things Men Do That Drive Women Nuts

toilet
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

Put the toilet seat down
Guaranteed if you're not a conscientious seat-putter-downer, you hear this complaint so often that it flies in one hear and out the other. Well, boys, there's a very valid reason this is a common kvetch: WOMEN DON'T LIKE FALLING INTO THE TOILET WHEN THEY GET UP TO USE THE BATHROOM AT 3:30 A.M.! I mean, would you want to end up with your butt in the toilet at 3:30 A.M.? Didn't think so.

Clean up
Men are neat, while women are clean. To elaborate: A guy's place may look perfect; for example, all of his 'art' is in its place on the shelves, and the floor is empty of shoes, remote controls, and various other dude detritus. But when your girl examines the shelf area under that aforementioned 'art', there's a 75% chance she'll come upon a half-inch coating of dust. Girls, on the other hand, may have a pile of to-be-put-away clean clothes on her bedroom floor, but at least their space is clean. Get it? Good.

Be emotionally available
Another frequent complaint, which isn't as easy to alleviate as the toilet situation. Many of my male brethren have spent a lifetime bottling up their feelings, and it's hard to open up just like that. You can't become a totally communicative guy overnight, but she'll appreciate if you put forth a legitimate effort.

If you tell her you'll call her on Thursday, call her on Thursday
You're not in high school anymore. Quit playing head games, and get dialing.

Groom yourself
Based on personal experience, I know women dislike walking down the street with a guy who doesn't keep his fingernails clipped, or his shirt and pants relatively wrinkle- and hole-free, or his armpits un-stinky.

Put together an original night out
Dinner and a movie? C'mon, you did that last week. And the week before. And the week before that. One more week, and you've officially entered Dullsville. Take her bowling, or to a museum or any place other than to dinner and a movie.

Be romantic
If your girlfriend finds out one of her girlfriend's boyfriend gave her a dozen just because roses and the only just because gift you've ever given your girl is a ticket to a Cleveland Indians game she'll want to throttle you. And if that's the case, you'll deserve a throttling.

MSNBC Dating & Personals

Boringg

Boringg
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

Imagine what you can do on weekends when it's freezing outside? It's -1F with windchill, which makes it feels more like -25F. You stay inside the apartment, watched Dr. Phil, Oprah, and 3 hours of Fear Factor. Imagine what people could do for money. I guess if I had the chance I would do it too, hehe -minus the eating the raw disgusting animal organs part!

Suddenly you realized being a student is not as bad as it sounds. In fact, it's not bad at all considering the stuff working people had to face everyday. You're not an early morning person, so THAT'S the hardest thing. It's not like you're a CEO or something where you can go to the office whenver you like. Then you stuck in traffic jam with bunch of crazy drivers for hours. After you arrived at the office, your boss had a bad mood and yelled at everybody. It would be nice if you could throw a nice cup of hot coffee on your boss, but you couldn't. Since this thing is contagious, all the staffs ended up with a bad day. And it goes on and on...and on.