From The Star 8 October 2007
PETALING JAYA: If men listen more, wives will nag less and this is the recipe for happy marriages.
“Caught in the rat race, the problem with Malaysian men is that they do not spend enough time with the family, listening to their wives and children,” said psychologist Dr Leonard Yong
“Paying attention to the wife can reduce the level of nagging and result in good marital relationship. Good focused listening to the wife when she is troubled is the best way to resolve any misunderstanding in the family.
“That does not mean when your wife shouts at you to go away, you leave her in the house and go out. When she says go away, stand still and listen to her woes.
“Then get closer to her and, if she cries, embrace her,” Dr Yong told about 600 people attending his talk on developing openness to new ideas for enhancing creative thinking.
He was speaking at a seminar organised by the Malaysian Mental Literacy Movement (MMLM) at Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman.
The solution to the problem of wives nagging, he said, is not to talk back but listen attentively to their woes.
“If a husband or boyfriend in another situation walks away when she shouts, that will not be a solution to the problem.
“Creative solutions to relationships come from being able to challenge yourself,” said Dr Yong, an educational psychologist who has also conducted personal training for the Saudi Arabian Cabinet.
He has taught for more than 20 years at Universiti Malaya and travels widely to talk about emotional excellence in the workplace.
“People with high emotional intelligence are often the most successful in their personal lives as well as in their careers,” he added.
MMLM president and Utar council chairman Tun Dr Ling Liong Sik, who opened the seminar, said Dr Yong would be one of the keynote speakers at the first Malaysian Festival of the Mind 2007, to be held for four days beginning Oct 25 at the Utar campus here.
“Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi will launch it and admission is free.
“There will be exhibitions, talks and demonstrations and free consultation provided by mind experts from all over the world,” Dr Ling added.