Alasan Nikah

Ada banyak alasan manusia yang membuat dasar dari hakikat pernikahan,
hakikat yang seperti apakah yang paling membahagiakan? cuba kita
lihat...dan manakah pilihan kita???

- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana SEX, maka pasangan rajin bertengkar
jika servis di kamar tidur tidak memuaskan. Atau rajin hadir di SEX party.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana HARTA, maka pasangan bakal bubar
jika bangkrup.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana BEAUTY/BODY, pasangan bakal lari
jika rambut beruban dan muka keripot atau badan jadi gendut.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana ANAK, maka pasangan akan cari
alasan untuk pergi jika buah hati (anak) tidak hadir.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana KEPERIBADIAN, pasangan akan lari
jika orang berubah tingkah lakunya.
- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana CINTA, hati manusia itu tidak tetap
dan mudah terpikat pada hal-hal yang lebih baik, lagipula manusia yang
dicintai pasti MATI / PERGI.

- Jika hakikat pernikahan adalah kerana IBADAH kepada ALLAH, sesungguhnya
ALLAH itu KEKAL dan MAHA PEMBERI HIDUP kepada makhlukNYA. Dan ALLAH
mencintai hambaNYA melebihi seorang ibu mencintai bayinya. Maka tak ada
alasan apapun didunia yang dapat meretakkan rumah tangga kecuali jika
pasangan mendurhakai ALLAH.

Top 10 Dumb Things Bush Said in 2004

#10: "I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." -Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

#9: "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." -Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

#8: "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004

#7: "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." -Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004

#6: "We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental - supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." -Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004

#5: "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week - we will have an all-volunteer army!" -Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

#4: "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a - you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

#3: "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

#2: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

#1: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Terlewat Sebulan

Sepasang pengantin yang baru berkahwin 4 bulan. pada suatu malam si isteri memeluk leher suami dengan nada manja seraya berkata, Sayang, period i dah lewat sebulan, tapi i tak boleh nak pastikan lagi sebab kita kena gi check kat doktor.

Si suami yang teramat gembira tu pun berpakat dengan isterinya untuk tidak memberitahu sesiapa pun tentang perkhabaran gembira sehingga ianya benar - benar pasti.

Pada suatu hari, pasangan ini didatangi oleh pegawai dari TNB kerana terdapat tunggakkan dalam pembayaran bill elektrik rumah mereka.

Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata; ini rumah En.Mahpus ker?
Saya ni isterinya... ada apa encik?
Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata, Puan, ni dah sebulan lewat, saya tak boleh tunggu ni, nanti boss saya marah.

Dengan nada terkejut, si isteri itupun membalas balik cakap pegawai TNB tu.....

APA??? Macam mana pulak encik tahu yang saya ni sebulan lewat???
Pegawai TNB tu pun dengan selamba menjawab
“Ala puan, ni kan zaman IT, semua tu ada dalam komputer dan kita boleh check Online”.

Kata - kata pegawai TNB itu membuatkan si isteri tu lagi terkejut.

APAAA? Saya lewat sebulan pun awak semua boleh tahuuu???
Pegawai TNB tu pun mententeramkan keadaan, Relek puan, puan ni baru lewat sebulan, ada yang lagi teruk, lewat 5-6 bulan...

Si isteri yang terperanjat beruk dengan kenyataan pegawai tu pun berkata, nanti saya bincang dengan suami saya..lalu pegawai TNB tu pun beredar dari situ..;

Keesokkan harinya, selepas si Mahphus ini di beritahu oleh isterinya, dia pun naik berang dan terus ambik cuti dan pergi ke kedai TNB yang berdekatan..
Dengan tanpa menghiraukan pegawai-pegawai TNB yg ramai di situ, dia pun memekik seraya berkata

Apa korang ni, isteri saya sebulan lewat pun nak heboh heboh ke dalam internet. awak ni semua berkeluarga tak pernah lewat sebulan kerrrr?!!bisness apa korang buat niii?? nak kena saman kerr???
Lalu pegawai yang datang kerumah si Mahphus ni berdiri dan mententeramkan keadaan.
Sabar encik, sabar encik. apa susah, kalau nak settlekan perkara ni, bayar je laa..

Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuat kan si mahphus naik berang.
APAAA?? nak bayar korang? belahhhh lahh....
Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun cakap ; kalau macam tu...Kita terpaksa potong encik punya..........
Si Mahpus mencelah; apa??? potong??? abih tu isteri saya di rumah nak pakai apaaaaaa???

Pegawai TNB tu pun cakap ; nampak gayanye.....ISTERI ENCIK KENA PAKAI LILIN AJERRRLAAAAAAAA......?.....................

Sweet Couple

credit to Yahya Villareal Basman II. Heheh

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds
a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets
on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He
has Probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in
years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much
he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets
angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in
my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we
had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong
honey..... I love you, too

Selamat Hari Raya

Ayu the Fat Cat
Originally uploaded by swisscobalt.

I was hoping that I could celebrate Raya with my family for the first time since 2000. Didn't happen...uwaaa! Luckily, someone is with me. Although I own her, it's more like she's own me..Oh Ayu. Selamat Hari Raya to you..I'm gone nuts ( I think)